"Emma, what did you do today?" my grandmother asked. "Oh nothing." My one and only "nothing" is when im alone. My me time is the time when i get to reflect on my day and my life thus far. I sit out on my wooden swing and just think my day over. What I could have done differently and what I did well.
Nothing is such a universal term. it has so many differnet meanings to everyone. It can be watching TV. Something that is "nothing" to me, is something I really dont care for. For example: Homework, HW is my "nothing". But you see im really doing something. My nothings are things that dont make me think very hard. I dont really believe that there is ever a real "nothing". Even if you think youre doing nothing, you are. You are thinking about doing nothing. You are never mentally doing nothing maybe unless you are dead. I dont believe in "nothing".
P.S. i know its not 500 words. So help me expand it. please!
Thanks for posting!!
ReplyDeleteWarm:I like your claim of,"i don't believe in nothing". Also had some good description, for example, "wooden swing".
Cool: Was putting your grandma in the story useful? also it was way too short. You could make it longer by shareing a story you and your grandma had. also you should add an anecdote in that story.
I think that you could add what you think about when you do "nothing" or main things that pass through your mind. that is way that you could expand.
ReplyDeletecool: you didn't really end with an anectdote, that would be another way to expand is ad more to the story about you and your grandma :)
Warm: i loved the last sentence "I dont believe in nothing."
<3 youuu and Gracelynn :)
Good piece even if it was short haha. Places where you can expand to make it 500 are when you think back on your life thus far or when you think your day over- talk about good times and bad times also when you talk about the different possible meanings for nothing. Overall if you expanded in a couple places it would be even better than it already is :)
ReplyDeleteI like this story. It's true that you are always doing something. An improvement would be to add more details.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I think you could have added more details about how nothing affects you and others around you, like your Grandma. You said you homework is your nothing but isn't nothing suppose to be relaxing. This left me confused about what your idea of "nothing" I love the last line, it shows that everything has more of a meaning.
ReplyDeleteI like your story- dialogue creates a unique opener and works well in this piece. I think you touched on a universal- most people's idea of doing "nothing" involves thinking and reflecting on their lives. To improve and expand this piece, you could add sensory detail and give specific examples of when you do nothing. Good job! Thanks for sharing! :)
ReplyDelete